To Be A Performer

August 12th will mark the end of my summer-long musical theater "bootcamp." I really can't believe I'm already starting my 3rd week at Circle in the Square. Time has flown. Anyways, August 11th is our Cabaret showcase. At said Cabaret, my classmates and I will each sing a solo, do a dance number, and begin and end the evening with a group rendition of Cy Coleman's "To Be A Performer." I had never heard the song until we were all given copies of the music. I love it. Here's a good line:

"To be a performer, get ready to suffer a chronic condition the rest of your life."

This past week has presented me with a substantial challenge in this whole journey "to be a performer." My first scene in our "scene study" class has me portraying Dolores, a 30-year-old (ok, that's not too far of a stretch for me), emotionally, physically and psychologically abused woman who finally snaps and shoots her third husband. The point of this class is to tap into emotions and situations from your own past and use that raw, gut-reaction to help tell the story of the scene. NO EASY TASK. I've been battling Dolores for the past week, trying to understand her and her lot in life. I just couldn't find any situation in my life that was remotely similar and was starting to get really frustrated (my FIRST scene and I'm having such a hell of a time?? Ugh.....) However, thanks to a good "talk it out" session via SKYPE with a trusted "advisor," I now feel I'm moving closer to the truth of the scene - even though it leaves me feeling like a total head case, and a bit nauseous (I call this the "Dolores Effect"). But, even in feeling a little "unhinged" myself, I get this butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling after reading the scene now, and feel real emotions based on my real-life situations. Not to sound totally lame, but it's such an exciting feeling! "Light bulb" moments are the best, aren't they? Still, you'll all hear me breath a sigh of relief after I present the scene and send Dolores packing on Tuesday afternoon....

My point being, Cy Coleman's lyrics were spot-on:

"To make that uphill climb, to make it pay a dime, you're gonna have a time. Yes, you'll have a time - the best time of your life."

Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, it'll make you crazy. But, sometimes you find that "crazy" is what makes you thrive.

IN OTHER NEWS:

- I have my "judgment day" in front of our 90-year-old psychic/ Acting Technique instructor tomorrow. To say I'm dreading that is an understatement........

- Some of us girls went out in Greenwich Village last night and had a great time that included a flaming "Scorpion" drink...

- I start my weekly tap classes tonight at Broadway Dance Center..... No better way to get rid of the "Dolores Effect" than clicking around in 2-inch tap heels for an hour and a half :) Oh, and this helped, too:

Until next time,

~B